


how do you love when your heart is broken?

by aphorisnt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Resistance Reborn - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Death, F/M, Family, Gen, Grief, Hugging, I cried while writing this, Post-The Rise of Skywalker, Snap's death just really hurt me and I have a lot of feelings about it, background Wedge Antilles/Norra Wexley, sort of background Snap Wexley/Karé Kun, sort of major character death but the character already died, that one line from Resistance Reborn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21895696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphorisnt/pseuds/aphorisnt
Summary: The victory and elation he had felt only moments ago turned to ash in his mouth. Yes, they had won the battle, but at what cost? Snap was dead.Wedge’s sonwas dead.Wedge confronts the aftermath of the Battle of Exegol
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	how do you love when your heart is broken?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icandrawamoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/gifts).



> so I saw tros and holy fuck Snap's death fucking broke me!!! especially because we see Wedge right after and I have a lot of feelings about their father/son dynamic and Wedge basically becoming Snap's dad.
> 
> huge thanks to [Katie](https://corelliaxdreaming.tumblr.com/)/[icandrawamoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth) for her encouragement and support and also her tears.
> 
> any mistakes are my own and the title comes from ["I'll Be Ok"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78pH07RFqmY) by Nothing More

Wedge brought his X-wing in for a landing and vaulted over the edge as soon as he popped the canopy. He landed hard, his knees aching at the impact (he wasn’t as young as he used to be) but right now that wasn’t important.

They had won. Against all odds the Resistance had emerged from the battle victorious.

Wedge had been shocked when he and Norra received a transmission calling them to arms, and from Lando Calrissian no less. That had been the best surprise–Wedge couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the gambler-turned-general–and something about Lando’s reappearance gave him hope. Maybe because it meant more supporters were coming out of the woodwork, maybe because they had been through hell together in their Rebel days and had both made it out alive, but either way it kindled a spark in him that only grew brighter with each ship that joined the Falcon at the rendezvous point.

The battle itself had been a brutal one and Wedge knew they had lost so many, but for now their biggest victory, just snatched from the jaws of defeat, buoyed his spirits. Luke had always talked about the Force and Wedge had never been more sure that it had been with all of them than in that battle.

He made his way through the makeshift landing field, exchanging words of hope and joy as well as the occasional hand on the shoulder or back along the way, and went to seek out his family. The first person he saw was Norra. He jogged over to meet her at the bottom of her freighter’s boarding ramp and, without sparing a single thought for his old joints, immediately swept her into his arms and lifted her clear off her feet to spin her around as they held each other tight.

“Hi,” he said, setting her down.

“Hi yourself.” She reached her hand up to cup his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb, then pulled him closer. Their lips met, the kiss soft and sweet and full of all the emotions bubbling up inside both of them–the joy at having survived, the relief that the battle was over and the war would soon follow, the growing hope for the galaxy and the future.

They pulled back and gently rested their foreheads together and basked in the feeling of closeness, arms still tight around each other, then Wedge pulled back further. “Come on,” he said softly, “let’s go find Snap and Karé.”

Hand in hand they made their way toward the cluster of X-wings on the other side of the landing field. They wove in and out between the sea of celebrating beings, looking for the other members of their family, and then spied Karé at the edge of the crowd. The pilots around her were celebrating, hugging and slapping each other on the back and shouting words of triumph, but Karé stood alone with her back to the group.

Something was wrong. Wedge had an inkling of what it might be but he shut down those thoughts and refused to let them take shape. He quickened his pace, pulling Norra along with him, and skirted the cluster of pilots, then stopped a meter behind the woman who had become family to him as much as Norra and Snap.

“Karé?” he called softly, and she startled, but kept her back to them. Wedge felt fear settle in the pit of his stomach.

Norra called her name again. “Karé? Are you all right?” She dropped Wedge’s hand and stepped forward to place her own on Karé’s shoulder.

Karé flinched slightly at the sudden contact but didn’t pull away from it. She remained still for another moment, eyes fixed on the trees before her, then finally turned to face them. She kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her eyes red-rimmed and tear tracks clear on her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out.

“Karé?” Norra asked again, fear creeping into her voice. “What is it? What happened?”

She shook her head for a moment, still struggling to speak, but finally managed to force the words out. “I’m so sorry. Snap, he-he didn’t-,” her voice shook with every word until she broke off, fresh tears filling her eyes as she was unable to finish.

But it didn’t matter. Wedge knew what that meant.

Time seemed to stop as ice flooded his veins, the sounds around him fading to a dull roar and his vision growing unfocused. He didn’t remember falling to his knees when his shaking legs folded under him. He didn’t remember his eyes welling up. He didn’t remember his whispered denials, fighting against the truth of the gaping hole in his heart. All he was aware of was the deep, soul-crushing grief that gripped him tightly, strangling his heart in his chest and all but knocking the air out of his lungs with each “no” that fell from his lips. He fell forward onto his hands, shaking arms barely holding him up, and unconsciously dug his fingers into the dirt as if digging for a lifeline and his litany of gasped please continued even though his breath ran short.

The victory and elation he had felt only moments ago turned to ash in his mouth. Yes, they had won the battle, but at what cost? Snap was dead. _Wedge’s son_ was dead. His mind brought that memory from Corellia to the surface: Snap had called him “Dad.” He remembered the wonder and fierce joy that had swelled in his chest–he really was part of a family again–but in the next moment those feelings crumbled away.

Another memory surfaced, this one of the last time they had seen each other. The remains of the Resistance had found temporary shelter in a secret bunker provided by temporary allies. They had a place where they could go to ground for a while but their numbers were still scarce. The Resistance needed people and there was no way they could win the war without more allies. So he and Norra had said goodbye to Snap once again. “You always do this to me,” Snap had said forlornly, but he understood the importance of their mission. Then Wedge had spoken the last words he would ever say to his newfound son: “We’ll see you again.” It had been a promise and he had meant it, so certain that they would reunite once he and Norra brought back the support the Resistance needed. But he had been too late, he had broken his promise, and the last words they exchanged had been a lie. The guilt ate at him, ripping the remains of his heart to shreds as hot tears welled over and poured down his cheeks to wet the ground below.

It was long minutes before Wedge came back to himself, reality fading back in starting with his grip on the soil, and when he found he could breathe again he raised his head. Norra and Karé clung to each other and Wedge could hear Karé’s sobs where they were muffled against Norra’s shoulder. Norra had one arm wrapped tightly around Karé and stroked her daughter-in-law’s hair with her other hand. She made no audible cries and Wedge couldn't see her face but he could tell by the way her shoulders shook that she was struggling to hold it together.

Wedge finally levered himself back onto his feet and wiped the dirt on his hands against the legs of his flight suit before trying to brush the remaining tears from his eyes. Everything still held an air of unreality and Wedge felt as if he was walking in a dream as he slowly approached his family and then wrapped shaking arms around the two of them and held on as tightly as he could. That contact was Norra’s cue to finally let go and when quiet sobs began to escape her where she pressed her face against the top of Karé’s head Wedge only tightened his grip further.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood wrapped around each other sharing their grief but after some time Wedge loosened his arms and stepped back. Norra and Karé followed suit and separated though Karé still kept a tight grip on Norra’s hand.

Wedge searched for his voice. He had never been very good with words but after years as a pilot he was no stranger to loss. He had grieved countless squadmates over his years with the Rebellion and the New Republic and even during his brief stint as a TIE pilot. He had just never felt a loss as great as this. But that didn’t matter, not right now. He had to be strong for his family to get them through this, and even though emotion tried to clog his throat the words he needed still found a way to claw themselves out.

“Hey,” he began, placing a hand on each of their shoulders and managing a wobbly smile. “It’ll be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time, but it will be.”

“When?” Karé managed to whisper before he could continue.

He squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t know; I wish I could tell you. But I can make you this promise: it will be ok, you will be ok, and all of us will continue on together. For Snap.”

“For Snap,” Norra echoed, placing her hand on top of Wedge’s, and Karé nodded in agreement.

“Now come on. We don’t have to celebrate or anything but let’s just be among other people, at least for a little while. I think Snap would want us to share this victory.”

Karé nodded, then found her voice again. “He would.”

“Let’s go find Black Squadron,” Norra suggested. She looked quickly to Karé for acceptance and after getting a slight nod she continued. “I think it would be nice to be among friends.”

“They should be over there,” Karé said, gesturing to a cluster of orange flight suits a short distance away.”

All right, then let’s go.” Wedge lowered his arms, then stepped to Karé’s side so she was between him and Norra. He grasped her hand and gave it a short squeeze, then the small family made their way toward the other pilots.

It wasn’t ok. His heart was broken and grief had made its home in his chest and he would never stop missing Snap. But he would go on, whether that was continuing to fight for the galaxy or raising a new flock of keedees. He would do it for Norra, he would do it for Karé, and he would do it for his son.

**Author's Note:**

> cry with me about Star Wars on tumblr [@aphorisnt](https://aphorisnt.tumblr.com/)


End file.
